How I Found My ‘Thing’

Everybody has a ‘thing’… right?

At least, that’s what seems to be the case when it comes to the world of online entrepreneurs. It may not be the case but after years of observing, the successful ones, seem to always have a ‘thing’.

The thing can be one or more of many different things. But it’s something the person does consistently, that somehow brings out the best in them, all while engaging and benefiting the audience.

When someone successful does this, it looks so easy, so natural. And guess what?

What I figured out, is that once you find that ‘thing’… YOUR ‘thing’. It really is easy, effortless and natural!

I really want to point out where I’m coming from too because many I see out there have thousands of followers and what looks like tons of experience. They look like total pros… That’s not me.

I’m an awkward, camera shy, weirdo who often has trouble putting my thoughts into words. What I say often sounds like gibberish and my verbal stories can be hard to follow.

I have under 100 followers on almost all my platforms and I value each one. I don’t go out seeking new followers by trying to follow as many as possible but rather follow the ones I like and just do my thing instead.

The reason is simple, as much as I’d love to grow and be successful, I’d rather have viewers and followers that are genuinely interested in and will benefit from what I do.

I believe that by taking this approach, I may not have as many followers but I will have the RIGHT followers for me.

Being myself in all of this is one of the most important parts of my journey… It’s also one of the most difficult!

In the online world, one could easily see me as a nobody. I want people to see what the beginning looks like… Well, I say beginning but this is the turning point so to speak.

Let me explain…

I created my website a few years back as a means to share some thoughts and stories. So that’s not new, I’ve obviously been building ‘something’ for awhile now. But there’s a turning point. It happened a couple of months ago.

Up until that turning point, I didn’t have a ‘thing’. I had many ‘things’ but no real ‘thing’ that was not only unique to me but also brought out the BEST in me. It made me capable of doing things that I couldn’t achieve before!

So what’s my ‘thing’???

A couple of months ago, as I had been dabbling back into creating art, I started to draw symbols. Not really anything specific but a rather automatic, let the pen guide my hand kind of way. It felt very intuitive and was driven to continue doing more. Almost like a deep urge inside of me needing to come out.

By removing the need to guide the pen and let it do the job on it’s own, it broke a basic artistic barrier I had of always trying to make it perfect. The result was fascinating to me!

You see, as the symbols fill parts of the page, they transition into drawings in an very automatic, ‘go with flow’ way. When one observes the images afterwards, you can start to notice the depiction of feelings, emotions and thoughts.

What helps one understand even further is that I do these creations live on facebook.

While I create the piece, I talk. I talk about things going on, random thoughts, deep wisdom I seldom like to share, question things that need to be questioned, share life experiences and more.

The talk part is kind of like the drawing part, it’s very random and unplanned. The words come intuitively and in random spurts of either lots of words or complete utter silence.

I also do the livestreams in a way where the camera faces only the paper I’m working on.

THIS is what broke the barrier of being camera shy! THIS was a eureka moment for me! I felt like screaming ‘I’m finally free!’.

Although, I was still a little shy, it broke the barrier enough to attempt it. And then do it again… and again. (That’s it though, until late today or this week until I do another… as stated before, this is my NEWLY discovered ‘thing’).

The art is actually a 2 step process. After a friend saw my ‘asemic art’ (that’s the best name I could find to describe it LOL), she recommended that I paint over with watercolour.

That’s when the magic happens!

As the paint is laid onto the paper, the symbols and images suddenly come to life with the vibrant colours. A story starts to be told and we start to comprehend what all the gibberish I speak actually means.

The biggest benefit of this, is the process I go through. It’s so soothing and calming, relaxing to say the least. I go right into what I call my ‘zen zone’ when I do this. I’m not really thinking very much, I always think too much, so it’s a great retreat from reality.

Spurting the thoughts onto paper so randomly as they come seems to unlock the barrier I have expressing words and thoughts. As if the artwork fills in the blanks of the missing words I may not express verbally.

By breaking all these barriers with one simple method, I found my ‘thing’! I am loving my ‘thing’! I can be me doing my ‘thing’ 🙂

Come watch me do my ‘thing’ on YouTube where I post all the recap videos of my Facebook Livestreams. You can find all 3 here (more to come, this is my ‘thing’ now!):

Subscribe to my YouTube channel to make sure not to miss out on my upcoming videos:

This is me…

As a person who practices reiki and promotes a natural living style, I’m often left feeling kind of like a traitor or a two-timer. I feel trapped in the middle of 2 conflicting methods and often feel I have to hide one side of me.

My reality is that I deal with mental illness, in fact I have my whole life. I have adhd, anxiety, ocd tendencies and am slightly agoraphobic. To be honest I am totally fine with all that and came to terms with my issues a long long time ago. But one thing that makes me feel bad sometimes is that I do, yes I do, take medication for my adhd. I’ve tried without many times and unfortunately I just can’t function. I become dead to the world, struggling my hardest just to get through the daily. I become a totally different person, I can’t cope, I am sad, have no energy and all in all just become a very dark minded individual. I just don’t feel like me. I reverse my bad thoughts as they come but it’s more powerful than me, it’s like I lose who I am, my inner self.

Now with my medication, I feel much better, am no longer lazy, my thoughts are positive and I finally get to feel what ‘normal’ really is. ‘Normal’ for me is HUGE, I remember when I first experienced ‘normal’ for the first time… it was the most amazing feeling ever! I didn’t know that some people could feel this amazing ‘normal’ feeling. I often spoke to them (whoever they were, coworkers, strangers, often friends) as they explained to me that they couldn’t understand how I felt whereas I, on the other hand, couldn’t understand how they felt. I saw it in others, I had a good idea of what it should feel like but had never felt that normal feeling myself. I even remember growing up as child telling my mom that I was not normal. 

When I started this blog, I was in a good mindset, in fact I was at one of the best places I had ever been. Then my life got thrown for a loop when surprise… I was suddenly expecting a third child. I would be lying if I didn’t say that I feared what would happen when I stopped my medication. But this time was different, this pregnancy, I had reiki, I had a good mindset, I had a plan! 

Well, that plan went down the drain pretty fast! Once I stopped the meds I was so debilitated that I couldn’t even drive myself to do even the most minimal ‘family’ tasks, perform reiki, think positively or even write any content for my blog (this is why my Twitter, Facebook and blog have been pretty much inactive since last summer). I couldn’t get off the couch for the life of me. I would sleep all the time and just wait for life and each day to pass by. Going out was also near impossible, I couldn’t handle the crowds.

Recently, I had my baby (she is awesome, a true blessing) and was finally able to get back on track (in other words, start my meds again). The very first day was the most glorious of all! I felt like I had energy, was able to focus and could see the good in things again. The difference is unexplainable. I can’t even find any words to describe it. 

So this is why I feel like a traitor, a two-tuner. Because many will oppose all chemicals and say that one does not need them and can heal on their own. I kind of agree with that, in the way that I think things like adhd and other mental illness can be caused by external influences, thus causing the problem in the first place.

I am not pro nor con on the subject of taking medication, even though I believe there are better ways to heal. I believe that each person knows their limitations and should be able to judge for themselves if they need it or not. I believe that it is no ones place to judge another for taking or not taking medication to manage mental illness among other things. For me, I know I need it. Maybe one day I will reach a level where I will no longer need to take anything but I am not there yet and that is okay. I know myself well enough.

I felt I needed to put this out there. I want to be real, I dont want to create a false image of myself and I want to be as transparent as possible with this website. Judge me if you want but this is who I am. 

This is me…