How I Found My ‘Thing’

Everybody has a ‘thing’… right?

At least, that’s what seems to be the case when it comes to the world of online entrepreneurs. It may not be the case but after years of observing, the successful ones, seem to always have a ‘thing’.

The thing can be one or more of many different things. But it’s something the person does consistently, that somehow brings out the best in them, all while engaging and benefiting the audience.

When someone successful does this, it looks so easy, so natural. And guess what?

What I figured out, is that once you find that ‘thing’… YOUR ‘thing’. It really is easy, effortless and natural!

I really want to point out where I’m coming from too because many I see out there have thousands of followers and what looks like tons of experience. They look like total pros… That’s not me.

I’m an awkward, camera shy, weirdo who often has trouble putting my thoughts into words. What I say often sounds like gibberish and my verbal stories can be hard to follow.

I have under 100 followers on almost all my platforms and I value each one. I don’t go out seeking new followers by trying to follow as many as possible but rather follow the ones I like and just do my thing instead.

The reason is simple, as much as I’d love to grow and be successful, I’d rather have viewers and followers that are genuinely interested in and will benefit from what I do.

I believe that by taking this approach, I may not have as many followers but I will have the RIGHT followers for me.

Being myself in all of this is one of the most important parts of my journey… It’s also one of the most difficult!

In the online world, one could easily see me as a nobody. I want people to see what the beginning looks like… Well, I say beginning but this is the turning point so to speak.

Let me explain…

I created my website a few years back as a means to share some thoughts and stories. So that’s not new, I’ve obviously been building ‘something’ for awhile now. But there’s a turning point. It happened a couple of months ago.

Up until that turning point, I didn’t have a ‘thing’. I had many ‘things’ but no real ‘thing’ that was not only unique to me but also brought out the BEST in me. It made me capable of doing things that I couldn’t achieve before!

So what’s my ‘thing’???

A couple of months ago, as I had been dabbling back into creating art, I started to draw symbols. Not really anything specific but a rather automatic, let the pen guide my hand kind of way. It felt very intuitive and was driven to continue doing more. Almost like a deep urge inside of me needing to come out.

By removing the need to guide the pen and let it do the job on it’s own, it broke a basic artistic barrier I had of always trying to make it perfect. The result was fascinating to me!

You see, as the symbols fill parts of the page, they transition into drawings in an very automatic, ‘go with flow’ way. When one observes the images afterwards, you can start to notice the depiction of feelings, emotions and thoughts.

What helps one understand even further is that I do these creations live on facebook.

While I create the piece, I talk. I talk about things going on, random thoughts, deep wisdom I seldom like to share, question things that need to be questioned, share life experiences and more.

The talk part is kind of like the drawing part, it’s very random and unplanned. The words come intuitively and in random spurts of either lots of words or complete utter silence.

I also do the livestreams in a way where the camera faces only the paper I’m working on.

THIS is what broke the barrier of being camera shy! THIS was a eureka moment for me! I felt like screaming ‘I’m finally free!’.

Although, I was still a little shy, it broke the barrier enough to attempt it. And then do it again… and again. (That’s it though, until late today or this week until I do another… as stated before, this is my NEWLY discovered ‘thing’).

The art is actually a 2 step process. After a friend saw my ‘asemic art’ (that’s the best name I could find to describe it LOL), she recommended that I paint over with watercolour.

That’s when the magic happens!

As the paint is laid onto the paper, the symbols and images suddenly come to life with the vibrant colours. A story starts to be told and we start to comprehend what all the gibberish I speak actually means.

The biggest benefit of this, is the process I go through. It’s so soothing and calming, relaxing to say the least. I go right into what I call my ‘zen zone’ when I do this. I’m not really thinking very much, I always think too much, so it’s a great retreat from reality.

Spurting the thoughts onto paper so randomly as they come seems to unlock the barrier I have expressing words and thoughts. As if the artwork fills in the blanks of the missing words I may not express verbally.

By breaking all these barriers with one simple method, I found my ‘thing’! I am loving my ‘thing’! I can be me doing my ‘thing’ 🙂

Come watch me do my ‘thing’ on YouTube where I post all the recap videos of my Facebook Livestreams. You can find all 3 here (more to come, this is my ‘thing’ now!):

Subscribe to my YouTube channel to make sure not to miss out on my upcoming videos:

Every drop of paint is a part of fear being taken from her being and put onto canvas to release it and let go.

Releasing Fear

I just want to put this out there…

Since this whole lockdown thing in March started, I’ve come to a place of peace in a sense. I took the opportunity to take all the extra time (not really extra with 3 kids but…) to do some major self-reflection. I knew that I had past traumas to resolve and the only way I could go that deep within myself was to ‘disconnect’, so that I could ‘reconnect’.

It was an interesting journey to say the least, I discovered that certain events would just play on replay in my head, over and over. So much so, I would barely even notice it. Some of these events were seemingly meaningless, others not. Some of the damage I thought was irreversible.

The ultimate goal I had during this self-discovery journey was to rediscover out who ‘Mélanie’ was as a child, before society broke her…

I remember being told that the wisdom I had was deep for a child so young, many people would point it out and I never knew what it meant or what to do with it. All I knew is that I felt different and alone. This world never felt like home to me and of course, I was always a little bothered by that. Why was everyone so happy just going about life? So many just content, not even questioning their reality? I just couldn’t comprehend why I always felt so different. Always being told I was weird definitely supported my feelings of being somewhat alienated from this world.

To be honest, I’ve never quite felt at home during this lifetime. I remember looking up at the sky and feeling so close yet so far from home (and still do for that matter). The feeling is painful and blissful all at the sametime. Funny how I feel more ‘At Home’ looking up at the stars compared to when I look down here on earth, the place I’m supposed to call home… As a child, I knew I had a purpose, a reason for it all… there had to be right?

You know, I still look for that purpose knowing every step of my journey takes part in that purpose. But to see the bigger picture, what a great feeling that would be! Knowing that you’ll have value in the world… that you’ll make a change. Could you imagine the things you could accomplish?!

As I delved into facing my childhood memories, the first thing I noticed was a pattern. I was often told to shut up, be quiet, my voice was too squeaky, sounded like Minnie Mouse, was annoying or otherwise was just ignored when I spoke up. It really made me feel like I could never be me. Me was not good, me needed to be quiet and NOT share any thoughts I had…

This realization was huge for me and it made total sense! I always hold back my words! I almost feel as if there was some force trying to mold me to never share my knowledge (which I know can benefit many and I still hold back so much).

Back to present life…

So how I was able to delve so deep was by trying to find what I loved as a child and try it out again. I loved to paint, draw and create! Was often told it was a talent so great. So I grabbed a brush to see what I could create.

Grabbing that brush and getting the chance to create again has resulted in something much larger and grander than I ever thought. For it seems that as a result, a new person has emerged… One you didn’t know, just barely 3 months ago.

I’ve been reborn, I’m here to stay. My wings have grown but I won’t fly away. I will embrace this moment in time, the moment I get to meet and be this new me!

I’m not scared anymore.

View my latest artwork here: